Dolls
All Dolls created simply out of my own passion. Complain and Die!
Checkerboard
A simple man (if he is a man...). A clever man (though not very bright...). A lovely man (one no one wants...). A poor soul (no comment...). Checkerboard is the kind of guy in those Seth MacFarlane cartoons that get blown up with bits and pieces flown everywhere and no one notices or even cares that it happened. It's a sad thing, and it happens a lot, but isn't that just what life is?
"They call me Checkerboard because I like Chess. I've won two times already! I'm going for a third." --Checkerboard |
Temper
Daffy Duck if ever you saw him. Temper has exactly that; he has a foul temper permanently etched into his red, ego-inflated-yet-repeatably-deflated head. Much latino-heat radiates off him, leading to repeatable karmic-scapegoating on his behalf. He always played the victim for that very reason, usually taking the sharp end of a needle to the eye. One of the employees filled me in, saying that he weeps every night in his trailer, saying how his mother whipped him in the back on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom. I came to the director and asked him if he knew about this. He told me he did, and I had to be reminded that he was the one who made all of the dolls in the first place.
"Shut Up! And get that camera out of my face!" --Temper |
Ebony
A dainty snow white in black tar. The tragic female figure at the end of a shakespearean story where she hangs herself or drowns herself or slits her wrists with a pair of silver scissors. The problem with this though is that her starring role in Dolls, Dames and Electric Trains is what gave the Director his big break, and how she has the inert ability to cry on cue, so the director puts a lot of effort into keeping her alive. He pays for insurance, medical, comforting, pity sex, more therapy, more pity sex.
Some may have believed that she was in a string of bad relationships, the last one being genre actor Prinna Domma, but this is under mere speculation and has yet to have been proved. "Your world is nothing more than all the tiny things you've left behind. Too bad I lost everything." --Ebony |
Psychompomp & Prinna Domma
A match made in Hell. Having first met one another in their first ever non-motion picture Grindhouse Crucifix, the chemistry was magic as Prinna and Psycho connected by their mutual love of sado-masochism, sticking pins in each other and those around them in a sweaty embrasse. On April Fools Day 2012, Psychopomp surprised Prinna with a marriage proposal while on the set of Be My Valentine with nothing but an orange flower and a used steak-knife. A teary yes was made, on account of her eye having been gouged out.
Since then, the two have made a real name for themselves in Erebus' productions, having been arrested no less than three times within the same year. Fans everywhere all point to these two for the cause of Mr. Elysium's reputation for being the makers of "Snuff", with the entire catering department going missing shortly after signing up for the jobs. "They call us the Bonnie and Clyde of the business." "Do they? Get the guns." -- Psychopomp talking to Prinna Domma |
Pumpkinhead
Also called "Orange-Hood" for her clunky, cutesy demeanor and Autumn colors, Pumpkinhead always plays the naïve, innocent, virginal one that usually survives at the end of the movie.
Currently dating the hulking Jesus Frankenstein, He and Pumpkinhead starred in the hit tween-romance VI - The Lovers only having recieved the compliment of "well, its better than Twilight." "I'm a star daddy. Are you finally proud of me?" --Pumpkinhead |
Jesus Frankenstein
Named after a Rob Zombie song, Jesus Frankenstein doesn't talk much. Never did really. That's why he always insists to have silent roles in his work. His favorite colors are black and white and has a passion for Lucio Fulci movies.
He is currently dating his colleague Pumpkinhead after staring in his new one-hit wonder VI - The Lovers, though the press speculate that he's in an affair with genre-actor Prinna Domma. An abusive relationship on his part, as he comes home with a black-eye every tuesday night. I just know. DON'T QUESTION ME DAMMIT! "...peaches..." --Jesus Frankenstein |
Cupcake
Yen Sid
After a daring mis-hap with a magic spell, Yen Sid developed the power of invisibility. Turns out that true invisibility isn't the power to be unseen to the human eye. Really, it's more like one's mind going out of its way to ignore the object (or person). It's a bitch. If Aza wasn't a painter, then he never would have noticed. Painters always have an eye for details they aim for. So now Yen Sid operates as a background character from time to time, or maybe a stunt-man. They've tried casting him in bigger roles, but with little success as audiences walked out immediately from instant boredom. So sad.
ABSENT FOR QUOTE |
God
Guardian of the Burrow and friend to all trees, God has made it his duty to preserve the balance of man and nature from afar. And by "from afar", I mean that he doesn't really do anything while he wallows in his own hedonistic life-style. That's not so say that he's a bad guy. He just has little conviction to get up in the morning.
"Yeah whatever..." --God |
Goddess
A treacherous femme fatale with the ultimate plan in mind: to kill God. That's not to say that it's an uncommon thing for a woman to kill her husband. What? that doesn't happen? She had this notion that as king, God would have had servants and jewels and that she would be spoiled like she believed she should have, instead of living in a hollow tree. Many attempts have been made on God's life, but all of them fruitless for one contrived reason or another. She even hired Psychopomp and Prinna Domma to off him in third nap, only for them to run away with their money, saying they "just didn't feel like it."
"Where did you hear that? Go away!" -- Goddess |
Clown
Ain't he cute? At first glance you'd expect him to turn out to be some creepy demon out to eat your children, but no. That would be every other clown you've ever met. This guy holds a love of creme pies and glass eyes. Not glass-in-eyes, unlike everyone else in this line-up. He just collects glass eyes in a small box. He enjoys apple martinis and dubstep, both of which have landed him the job that he keeps today. His hobbies include bike-riding and collecting children in his ice-cream truck.
...what?
" 'Honk' "
--Clown
SOLD
...what?
" 'Honk' "
--Clown
SOLD
Oz
A conman, a carnie and an evil con carne. Oz loves nothing more than the almighty dollar. Blame his father; a pimp with a ruthless demeanor and worshipped money as much as it ruled his life. Oz would sell his own mother for a nickel if his father didn't do it first. Some are convinced that Oz is somehow related to Ebony, and that he is the cause of her heavy depression. Whether that is true is confidential. To the poor that is.
"Honesty is the best policy, but only sometimes."
-- Oz
"Honesty is the best policy, but only sometimes."
-- Oz
Anatomy
A walking irregularity. No one knows who he is. No one knows where he's from. No one knows what he does or why. If anyone asks, people forget. If he answers, you don't want to know. Some believe that he recently escaped from the Foundation. People ask what that is and they end up disappearing. Don't bother asking or you might just might perish.
"Your question has been answered truthfuly."
--Anatomy
"Your question has been answered truthfuly."
--Anatomy
Mania
Her parents did a few things in their teenage years and Mania is just a way for them to never live it down. Mania, as you can tell, is not sick, but she's not well either. Vomiting hilarious amounts of bile and half-digested food as a child, Mania now spends her boredom banging her head against the wall and talking obscenities to her pet centipedes. Obscenities of a delusional grandeur and superego.
"Cut... cut... cut... cut... cut... cut... cut"
-- Mania
"Cut... cut... cut... cut... cut... cut... cut"
-- Mania
Shortcake
Inferiority complexes of every caliber. Younger brother to Cupcake, people frequently confuse him as being the older of the two for being significantly taller and seems to live as far away from each other as possible. Or at least she tries to. Shortcake on the other hand stalks her constantly and has been arrested over twenty times for a long profile of stalking, hate-crimes, disturbing the peace and a few other offenses. His prison therapists have a field day with hims, claiming that he suffers from, what his doctor refers to, as a "Personal-Manticore Syndrome", a condition of multiple neurosis acting simultaneously from a single source with barely any context in a sociopathic manner. He's exhibited symptoms of Castration Anxiety, Jehovah Complex, Fourier Complex, Icarus Complex, Jonah Complex, Sister Complex and a gender-flipped Cinderella Complex never employed in medical files. When Cupcake was interviewed over this matter, she didn't seem to know what we were talking about.
"I'm not stalking her. We all worry for family. Just not enough"
--Shortcake
"I'm not stalking her. We all worry for family. Just not enough"
--Shortcake
Tulip
A close friend of Cupcake and a frequent victim to Shortcake. Tulip works as a florist in the smallest nooks and cranies of the world. Employed by Mother Nature herself and works as a spy for the ever foreboding Mother Goose and Prospero, Tulip is always on her guard and has a habit of planting the wrong flowers in the wrong place and - by proxy - the wrong time, leading to her getting whipped by a bouque of roses. And thus, Tulip does it on purpose.
"A gentlewoman doesn't tell sir."
-- Tulip
"A gentlewoman doesn't tell sir."
-- Tulip
Goodwill
The ever generous Goodwill is exactly that - ever generous and full of good-will. He doesn't talk much but is always ever insightful whenever he gives an answer. Goodwill speaks only in answers. And that can drive a mad to murder. Many men in-fact. Nearly every person Goodwill has met has been committed at some point in their lives in a series of unfortunate occurrences and no one has yet to have made the connection. Those poor bastards.
"No. I say nothing, and yet people seem to believe that I tell them everything. Therefore, they are nothing."
--Goodwill
"No. I say nothing, and yet people seem to believe that I tell them everything. Therefore, they are nothing."
--Goodwill
Lao the Keymaster
An old soul of fortune and mentor to anyone who would ask. Lao works for the Loa, having been assigned the duty of Keymaster. Any door he can open, any entry he can lock, and if anybody were to get ahold of even one of his keys could spell doom for the souls of the living. He spends his time fun-running and social networking Asgardians, Olympians and immortals - both Taoist and Pastafarian. None of them have accepted his friend requests yet, but he is hopeful. They say he's in relations with the Gatekeeper, but this has yet to be confirmed.
"It isn't about owning keys that can allow unlimited access (if only it worked that way with people). The problem is that locks don't work for shit. My apartment has been broken in three times in the last two years and now I'm getting angry. You'd think tha Loa would help with that. Or at least give me a raise high enough to pay for insurance. (If they payed me at all)"
--Lao the Keymaster
"It isn't about owning keys that can allow unlimited access (if only it worked that way with people). The problem is that locks don't work for shit. My apartment has been broken in three times in the last two years and now I'm getting angry. You'd think tha Loa would help with that. Or at least give me a raise high enough to pay for insurance. (If they payed me at all)"
--Lao the Keymaster
Crossbones
All he ever does is sit there and stare into space. They say that the sleeping pills that induced his unconsciousness caused his eyes to dilate to the point where his right eye dried out and went completely blank. Whether his brain died or if he actually intends half of the things he does in his vegetative state is left a mystery. In this state, he has a habit of carving well-varnished wood products.
"...rosebud..."
--Crossbones
"...rosebud..."
--Crossbones
Bugeyes
A delusional Hick with a latchkey-induced obsession with mace, guns and chewing tobacco. He never listens and feels the notches in his shotgun as part of his morning ritual. Every time he moves into a new house, he goes under the assumption that this allows him full, omnipotent control of his property. He spends his weekends sitting on his front porch, pointing a gun at anybody within eye shot, sniping them instantaneously should they ever step on his grass. His neighborhood lost 5 pizza delivery boys that way.
"Dem boys don't better not step on my grass or their asses I'm goin' mount on my wall."
--Bugeyes
SOLD
"Dem boys don't better not step on my grass or their asses I'm goin' mount on my wall."
--Bugeyes
SOLD
Clockwork
A mechanism cataclysm incarnated. Tick-tock his eye progresses and tick-tock he goes until his tick tocks no more. Some say he came from a failed time machine when its operator pressed the wrong button. Neither were ever seen again, but a Wrinkle in time began to surface.
"'Tick-Tick' How merry go Gents?"
--Clockwork
"'Tick-Tick' How merry go Gents?"
--Clockwork
Passionpomp
Cousin of Psychopomp, Passionpomp is often regarded as the black sheep to his family. Rather than exploring the meaning of life through the physical exploration of the human flesh, Passionpomp explores the universe in a less blunt manner. Lost by Lao the Keymaster, Passionpomp's wishing-gem acts as a pass-key through the Collective Unconscious. Passionpomp would spends weeks in meditation, exploring the mental terrain, ever unaware of all of the sharpie markings people leave on his face in the meantime.
"Erazor angel child zoned up aristocrat, completely fucked up with formalities and fallacies."
--Passionpomp
"Erazor angel child zoned up aristocrat, completely fucked up with formalities and fallacies."
--Passionpomp
Psychepomp
Short and unruly, Psychepomp is one of Psychopomp's evil counterparts from an alternate universe. Well, evil-er.
Psychepomp lacks any form of superego, leaving him seeing red 24-7, going out on a rampage killing anything that moves in a rabid frenzy. They say it's all because of his height, but no one is able to ask him, lest they lose a limb or six.
"MUST...SPREAD...STUPID!!!"
--Psychepomp
Psychepomp lacks any form of superego, leaving him seeing red 24-7, going out on a rampage killing anything that moves in a rabid frenzy. They say it's all because of his height, but no one is able to ask him, lest they lose a limb or six.
"MUST...SPREAD...STUPID!!!"
--Psychepomp
Peaches and Cobbler
On the run, running in circles, these siblings are in serious need for attention. Cobbler has taking he liberty of taking care of his little sister Peaches on his escape from his absent father and abusive mother. With a taste for chains and cigarettes, Cobbler hasn't exactly taken the liberties of making a good household for her, but he tries. Oh god, he tries.
"Cobbler, where do babies come from?"
"If I did tell you, then I'd have to tell you everything. Then I'd get sued by some yuppie woman about indecency. Now go to sleep!"
"Oh. Okay."
--Peaches talking to Cobbler
"Cobbler, where do babies come from?"
"If I did tell you, then I'd have to tell you everything. Then I'd get sued by some yuppie woman about indecency. Now go to sleep!"
"Oh. Okay."
--Peaches talking to Cobbler
Nhaje
Swimmer of the Sands and bargains. Nhaje was bitten by a radioactive cobra that escaped a testing facility. She didn't get superpowers, but no matter how many times she's told this, she thinks that she has. Backstroking through the desert (then taking a cab after wasting a good 6 hours not going anywhere), Nhaje tries fighting crime on the streets of Phoenix. She's been hospitalized five times and has collected eight restraining orders in the process.
"To infinity, and BEYO- What? ...What do you mean I can't say that... oh, oh okay."
--Nhaje
"To infinity, and BEYO- What? ...What do you mean I can't say that... oh, oh okay."
--Nhaje
Pinhead
A former Belgian Mafia Crimelord, Pinhead grew weary and guilty with his many crimes and atrocities and, with the help of Interpol, escaped through the Tibetain mountains to freedom. There, he came across the Guru Passionpomp, who adorned him with the Orneus Amethyst, plucked from the deepest core of the Realm of Dreams. Armed with this sacred gem, Pinhead began his journey of enlightenment and seeks redemption in his quest for peace.
"Are you talkin' to me? I can't hear you, say it again: Are YOU talking to ME?"
--Pinhead
"Are you talkin' to me? I can't hear you, say it again: Are YOU talking to ME?"
--Pinhead
Krystoff
A small boy found skinned alive over his face and middle-back, Passionpomp found him almost dead over the cliff above the Yamdrok Lake. To save the poor boy's life, Passionpomp dug through his treasures and gifted him with a powerful emerald he found buried deep inside the decaying Pratyekabuddha in the Mental Realm. His body rebuilt, Krystoff was adopted by Passionpomp and taken on by his apprentice, unaware of how the trauma of his pain and the power of the emerald has warped his mind and twisted his vision of the world.
"The pain is the gate. The key is in the eyes. The world is locked away from us. Go for the eyes."
--Krystoff
"The pain is the gate. The key is in the eyes. The world is locked away from us. Go for the eyes."
--Krystoff
Cho the Gatekeeper
Former accomplice to Lao the Gatekeeper, Cho works as the Gatekeeper, embodiment, guardian and ruler of all locks and barriers. Serving as a prison and vault for all unmentionables and dignitaries. Since his defect from the Loa's servitude, Cho has turned to using his magic for the sake of himself and other hum-drum mortal uses, applying his services to anyone with the money to pay or anything else that can be traded. There is a limited market for retrieval and portal-jumping, so what better way to make a living?
"All prison bars are mine. All glass walls, all doors, floors, and nowheres are mine. You are not welcomed here, because my whole domain is unwelcoming. Would you like some tea?"
--Cho the Gatekeeper
"All prison bars are mine. All glass walls, all doors, floors, and nowheres are mine. You are not welcomed here, because my whole domain is unwelcoming. Would you like some tea?"
--Cho the Gatekeeper
Surgery Stan
Ever wanted to be fused together with your own fraternal in brother? Well with the help of a new "experimental" anesthesia (and by "experimental", I mean mixed at random with a random batch of trioxin), twin brothers Sam and Stu were experimented on relentlessly in The Government's project to create a new perfect race of people, creating the ever horrifying product of good ole' Surgery Stan.
"Whyhow did youall do thisat to meus?!?!?"
--Surgery Stan
"Whyhow did youall do thisat to meus?!?!?"
--Surgery Stan
Don K. Ristmas Parker
Crimelord of South Germany, Don Krampus Ristmas Parker spent a lot of money to find Pinhead to kill for the sake of an old grudge. After finding out where he was hiding, he completely lost track of his mission in favor of the treasures found in Passionpomp's exotic collection, where he was drawn to a strange glowing red gem glowing with a strange and terrifying power. Grafting it to his rosary, Don Parker then uses the power of the gem to create his own cult of followers, instigating his own worshippers and hail him as a god.
"Defy me and suffer my wrath, y'know?"
-- Don K. Ristmas Parker
"Defy me and suffer my wrath, y'know?"
-- Don K. Ristmas Parker
Alarm!
Skin like a hazmat-suit, Aster "Alarm!" Mandrill operates under The Government as a retrieval unit for any and all contraband in areas to toxic and unmentionable to find. No-one knows where he came from, or if he could ever actually talk for that matter. Stored away inside a secret base beneath the Valley of the Drums, kept in cryogenic refrigeration until the time comes for him to work again.
"Identify. Mission: Retrieve and eliminate."
-Alarm!
"Identify. Mission: Retrieve and eliminate."
-Alarm!
Chamille
Ever the wall-flower, Chamille was adorned with the ever-present, ever-powerful spirit of lizards buried deep beneath the Nazca Desert. This granted her with amazing wall-crawling, regenerative and camouflage abilities. Too bad she's still a wall-flower. She turns invisible and nobody has seen her since
"...meep..."
--Chamille
"...meep..."
--Chamille
Crossbones II - "Skull"
Cloned from a faulty DNA sample from Crossbones, Skull was created in an effort to harvest all of the secrets of the universe by The Government, given Crossbones' current catatonic state (supposedly from learning these secrets in the first place. Makes you wonder who's DNA was used to fill in the gaps.
"The dead half. Let's get the hell out of here."
--Skull
"The dead half. Let's get the hell out of here."
--Skull
Pimp Daddy Africa
Born in the seediest alleyways of Hell's Kitchen, Pimp Daddy Africa took over the slums and made it his own personal playground. Drugs, prostitutes, drive-byes, all just an extra penny in his pockets to wet his teeth and enjoy a little mayhem.
"There's just one thing I can't stand, and it's a bunch of vigilanty jack-asses getting between me and my motherfuckin' money!"
--Pimp Daddy Africa
"There's just one thing I can't stand, and it's a bunch of vigilanty jack-asses getting between me and my motherfuckin' money!"
--Pimp Daddy Africa
Curcurbita
Curcurbita has a problem; she thinks that it is Halloween. She thinks that the entire year is comprised only of October 31st in everyday. She bothers everybody in her neighborhood, asking for candy and spooking the neighborhood dogs in good fun. Her family tried getting her help, but this has done little good.
"Trick or treat."
--Curcurbita
"Trick or treat."
--Curcurbita
Gila Monster
After many months of teachings from their master, Guru Passionpomp allowed his pupils Pinhead and Kristoff free reign into the Astral Plane. Venturing too far into it, the natural psychic resonance they give off culminates into a grotesque, lizard-like combination of the two, creating Gila Monster. They bring him back with them, asking Passionpomp if they can keep him. He begrudgingly agrees, giving Gila Monster an old black-opal as a means of stabilizing his physical form. Young a naive, he's like a big old puppy-dog, getting into things and playing fetch.
"Tick-tock."
-- Gila Monster
"Tick-tock."
-- Gila Monster
Team Miasma
Former mercenary team of The Government, Team Miasma was the best of the best. Innovative, reliable and ruthless to to the very end. Comprised of specialists in out of the field, Miasma-members Pot, Dartz, Amphemine and Snow went MIA (one after the other, mind-you) and were presumed dead after Snow's disappearance in the icy shores of the Gaza Strip. One year after the Miasma initiative was shut down, video evidence was found, revealing that the MIA agents were not only alive, but that they have used their collective skills and resources to break into FOX Plaza and made off with the $640 million of negotiable bearer bonds locked in the vault there-in.
Pot the B (also known as Pot the Brains, Pot the Brawn, Pot the Hack and The Guerrilla) is the techi of the group. Though the tallest and strongest of the group, Pot works best at the desk of a computer. PC, macintosh, Dell, etc. If it has wires, Pot can crash it in due time. Firewalls are but a wooden fence in his wake. You want the President's porn receipts? He can get you that, the age of those he paid, and the names of his illegitamate children in less than an hour.
"Prepare to be Derezzed, vile pixels!"
-- Pot the B
"Prepare to be Derezzed, vile pixels!"
-- Pot the B
Dartz the Butch is the leader of Miasma and the weapon's expert. Out of the abuse of his drunk father (constantly kicking Dartz around for not being "manly" enough), Dartz displays a compulsive psychotic streak that led to him nearly having his license to kill confiscated from him twice. Always with a high-caliber gun in his hands, Dartz operates in field work every chance he gets, reacting with excitement to the thrill until foam leaks from his mouth.
"The circuits that cannot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You asked for miracles, Amphemine, I give you the FBI."
-- Dartz the Butch
"The circuits that cannot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You asked for miracles, Amphemine, I give you the FBI."
-- Dartz the Butch
Amphemine the Lucky is the team's berserker, bullseye and mascot. Not the sharpest of adults, Amphemine former addiction to "Ron Burgundy" has left a small portion of his brain permanently receded and crusty, leaving him clueless of his surroundings and embarrasses himself on a consistent basis, much to the amusement of his colleagus.
"I love it,. Goddammit I love it so."
-- Amphemine the Lucky
"I love it,. Goddammit I love it so."
-- Amphemine the Lucky
Snow the Silent is the team's #1 field agent and martial expert. Despite his short and chubby appearance, Snow is debatably the world's greatest martial artist, black belt in over 40 different styles of martial arts, including T'ai chi ch'uan, Aztec Warfare and Jun Fan Gung Fu.
"நீங்கள் மற்றும் உங்கள் குழந்தைகள் விழுங்க!"
--Snow the Silent
"நீங்கள் மற்றும் உங்கள் குழந்தைகள் விழுங்க!"
--Snow the Silent
Flake
His name says it all. Flake is a basket case, wandering the streets selling used tin-foil and telling them just how long they have until they die. Some people actually believe him, then again the evidence indicate otherwise.
"Well, my predictions differ by the seconds. What with 'free will' and all."
--Flake
SOLD
"Well, my predictions differ by the seconds. What with 'free will' and all."
--Flake
SOLD
The Spider
Master of the underworld, national crimeboss "The Spider" has been on INTERPOL's list for over 15 years. Always ready for profit, The Spider has spread his web into over 30 different illegal enterprises, from low-collar robberies to high-collar theft and even slave trafficking in over 10 different countries. His secret is that he keeps all the important details to himself and kills anybody who even thinks of defying his rules.
"Dear Pinhead, I have followed with enthusiasm the course of your disgrace and public shaming. My own never bothered me, except for the inconvenience of being incarcerated. But you may lack perspective. I believe we need to extend this conversation and package it for another conversation."
--The Spider
SOLD
"Dear Pinhead, I have followed with enthusiasm the course of your disgrace and public shaming. My own never bothered me, except for the inconvenience of being incarcerated. But you may lack perspective. I believe we need to extend this conversation and package it for another conversation."
--The Spider
SOLD
The Fly
Butler, handyman and second-in-command for INTERPOL's #1 target "The Spider". Narago Constable - codenamed "The Fly" - is The Spider's main enforcer in all operations directly connected to The Spider and his main entourage. As his size may indicate, The Fly is no pushover, able to crush a man's head like an egg with his palms. Urban Legends have been built around this man all over the world's law enforcement, ranging from being an alien in a tuxedo to a genetically created experiment done by The Spider himself. Whether any of these rumors are true is unknown.
"The Spider does not like to be kept waiting."
--The Fly
"The Spider does not like to be kept waiting."
--The Fly
Netty-Ragetty
A bumbling drunk who stumbled upon the home of an elder dryad (vomiting on it in his drunken stupor) Mr. Norman "Netty" Ragetty was cursed by the trees with the darkest powers of the forest, turning his eyes green in the process. Now all he knows is the language of plants, unable to communicate with any other life form.
"It's not as bad as you would think. Flowers are usually asleep in their beds, but any plant that actually does talk never really has anything important to say."
--Netty-Ragetty
"It's not as bad as you would think. Flowers are usually asleep in their beds, but any plant that actually does talk never really has anything important to say."
--Netty-Ragetty
The Presence
On one of their many contemporary robberies for hire, Team Miasma was sent by an employer to steal an over 10 karat sapphire from the great mystic Passionpomp in an unknown location caught between Nepal and Bhutan. Passionpomp warned them of the power they dare set loose onto the world, the Zafiro de las Lágrimas (or "Sapphire of Tears") being the very source of their own undoing.
Overnight, on the full moon of the third night after the theft, The Presence was given corporal form, his very body the dark mirror of each of the team-members. He knows their sins, he feels their fear and shall follow all of them like a shadow. He shall chase them all to the ends of the earth until they fall off the end, and shall haunt them still beyond.
"You are my creator, but I am your master - obey!"
--The Presence
Overnight, on the full moon of the third night after the theft, The Presence was given corporal form, his very body the dark mirror of each of the team-members. He knows their sins, he feels their fear and shall follow all of them like a shadow. He shall chase them all to the ends of the earth until they fall off the end, and shall haunt them still beyond.
"You are my creator, but I am your master - obey!"
--The Presence
Tzlepoca
Flute-woman and shaman of her village, Tzlepoca lives deep within the bowels of her mansion, mysteriously located smack dab on the top of "the Toxcatl flats". No map or person could say where these flats are exactly, but the descriptions have led to a decaying household along the western side of the Pico Turquino. It is impossible not to get lost within the house, all of the twists and turns and architecture of the house becoming surreal and absurd.
Rooms completely composed of rotting copper pipes. Book shelves on the ceilings with no bar rings on the laws of gravity. Square circles and candles that burn watery-fire. Her home is a Bleeding Tooth Winchester House.
Local villagers have claimed that all of this was because that Tzlepoca was in fact bride to Ometeotl, and that his very presence is what distorts the fabric of normalacy in the house.
"To the enemy of conflict, the Great Enemy is you if not the other."
--Tzlepoca
Rooms completely composed of rotting copper pipes. Book shelves on the ceilings with no bar rings on the laws of gravity. Square circles and candles that burn watery-fire. Her home is a Bleeding Tooth Winchester House.
Local villagers have claimed that all of this was because that Tzlepoca was in fact bride to Ometeotl, and that his very presence is what distorts the fabric of normalacy in the house.
"To the enemy of conflict, the Great Enemy is you if not the other."
--Tzlepoca
Zipperback
The Woman who asked too much. A teenager who could not find a job in a world that shunned her as an oddball, a scientist discovered her in the gutter and offered her the chance of a lifetime. No other options left, she allowed herself to become his unwitting test subject. Three days after they met, she wakes up in her hospital bed. Her brown eyes turned a glowing pink, her hair shaved off and a giant zipper crawling down from the back of her neck all the way down her back and left-leg. When she is ever asked about the purpose of this experiment, she gives them a different answer every time, and does not seem to notice this lapse in her own memory.
"It's cancer. Or was it a gank-scar?"
--Zipperback
"It's cancer. Or was it a gank-scar?"
--Zipperback
Fool
Founder of the Major Arcana, an inter-dimensional organization completely composed of Alternate Universe incarnations of himself. Fool acts like a curious little child, but is shown to have a form of wisdom and cosmic awareness that only the deepest depths of madness can create. His ultimate intention is to dominate his home world and share it with the other members of his organization, and only a Fool would wish to be king, now wouldn't he?
"Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"
--Fool
SOLD
--Fool
Madagascar
Madagascar, number 18 of Project "Beauty/Beast" and Agent "3rd of Cups" of the Major Arcana inter-dimensional organization. In an effort to make a chimeric beast under the command of Major Arcana, a monster capable of instilling fear and order in the populous, scientists took the DNA of willing agents of contradicting dimensional frequency and merged it with over 8 different animals, including the long extinct Waheela, the White-striped free-tailed bat, the Japanese Mountain Leech and the Aye-aye
" *indistinguishable clicks and buzzing noises, followed by human screaming* "
--Madagascar
" *indistinguishable clicks and buzzing noises, followed by human screaming* "
--Madagascar
Poppet
Garlic. Basil. Pomegranate. Salt. Amethyst. The ingredients chosen to make the perfect guardian of the Dreamscape, given life by Passionpomp and its primal magic stabilized by the Stones of the Kneeling Horizon.
Poppet acts like a basket of marbles; crackling and thumping in and around the dominion's entrance in a manner similar to a bengal tiger. How he goes about intruders depends on the time of the sun's position opposite the veil. Mornings he drop-kicks them into a random section of the collective unconscious, noon he asks a riddle with no answer, letting in anyone who is able to answer it, and the evenings he just rends them to pieces. No one knows what he does in the dead of night, no doubt out of fear of his presence in the realm. "Riphèl mía amèke zabí almi. Beware the Presence. Beware the King masked as the Clown. Fear the ocean, as it shall salt the soil and burn the madness." -- Poppet |
Bullfrog
Jiraiya Gamma, known by his American friends as "Bullfrog", is a powerful Volcano God incarnated into a living vessel from the prayers of those local to the area of Mount Aso. But great power comes even more great power, believing himself superior than all of the mortals beneath his heel before learning the value of the human individual. He now works as a super hero, defending the weak and using the fiery depths of the earth to combat the enemies of free will and freedom.
"No Matter how hard we try, there are still lives that we cannot save and feelings we cannot convey." --Bullfrog |
Ixquana
Originally a lowly iguana in Fiji, Ixquana was exposed to a grotesque mutagen that fell from a meteor and turned him into a techno-organic transformer with laser eyes. After hundreds of disposable black-ops soldiers, Ixquana was finally captured and taken to a secret underground base by The Government and was placed under heavy experimentation. They hope to synthesize pure mutagen from his blood, unaware that Ixquana is slowly rewiring the system while they aren't looking, uploading a viral AI with intentions to kill every living human-being it comes across.
''*clicks and dinosaur screeches*"
--Ixquana
''*clicks and dinosaur screeches*"
--Ixquana
Eros
Once the rich son of a corrupt CEO, Quinten Pide started a cult that worshipped the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In an effort to kickstart the Apocalypse, Quinten and his followers tried to summon the Horsemen and cleansing the earth of Man. They were only able to succeed in summoning the Black Horseman Famine, Quinten inciting the sacraments necessary to control him. The two became one, reborn as Eros, Avatar of Famine, Messiah of Pleasure and Demigod of Desire. When the authorities found the cult, they found all of its members (except for Quinten, who is still at large) dead or nearly dead, having cannibalized themselves in an "unspeakable orgy of utter madness." He empowers the hunger in the soul. Hunger for food, hunger for sex, hunger for attention, all are mere tinker toys to his whims.
"Wanting is like a fire: alluring, but consumes for consumption's sake, and efforts to grasp it will only feed you to it." - Eros SOLD |
Rosey
By any other name... however that ends. Rosey owns an outside Christmas tree boutique in the middle of Sunvale, ????? where she spends her time collecting animal teeth in jars and selling them at the local flea-market as necklaces, bracelets and other jewelry. Some ask her about the rosary around her neck, wanted to know where they could get one, only for them to be quickly be silenced, stuffing corn stalks and corncobs down their throats for daring to question the ways of He Who Walks Behind the Rows.
"I have the gift of sight everyone. And my gift tells me that you have all sinned greatly. The sin of growing old."
--Rosary.
"I have the gift of sight everyone. And my gift tells me that you have all sinned greatly. The sin of growing old."
--Rosary.
Marvo
Once a lowly grunt man at Dadallas's power plant, Marvin Magnefico was hit by a bolt of lightning as an accident in the plant's core wiring while being hit by a blast of Bullfrog's stray-divine attacks, with weird sciencey-beams from a 1000-Year Annual Comet passed over Earth. All at once. Now a being of pure, solid electricity, the Marvin, rennamed "Marvo" has become one of Dadallas' most recurring supervillains, battling heroes from all across the neighborhood and being thrown in prison every-time, only to break out the next day.
"And you all shall feel the wrath and the fury of my ferocious wrath!!!"
--Marvo
"And you all shall feel the wrath and the fury of my ferocious wrath!!!"
--Marvo
Lavender
The Crone Witch of the Thirteenth Lake, Norn of the Mortal Realm and Lady of the Ancient Stoics. Dressed in the skin of the fallen serpent Nathaivel, Lavender acts as the keeper of balance in the Magical Community. Vanquishing monstrous invader gods, planet-eating dragons and various other threats, Lavender is a force to be respected and feared by all.
"Leave this realm now and I shall leave your soul in one piece."
--Lavender
"Leave this realm now and I shall leave your soul in one piece."
--Lavender
Tiberius
God-Tyrant of the Third World. A once beautiful place, the Third World was then turned inside out when the monstrous being Tiberius appeared and conquered the realm in a thunderclap of fear and force. Under his rule, the Third World became a corporeal nightmare, the citizens chained and treated as slaves, their bodies degrading and destroyed by malnutrition, abuse and the pollution they were forced to enact onto their once prosperous world. With power over sulfur, smoke and toxins, Tiberius thrives under the inhospitable atmosphere, waiting for the next hero to come through his doors and be destroyed by the malevolent God-King.
"Bring out the Sacrilegious! Know that any man who commits the deeds of these men against me shall be met with agony and death!"
--Tiberius
"Bring out the Sacrilegious! Know that any man who commits the deeds of these men against me shall be met with agony and death!"
--Tiberius
Pilgrim
Rogue of the Major Arcana. The one incarnation of Fool that he tried to recruit and turned out to be a superhero. With the power to headbutt at high speeds with his indestructible horn, Pilgrim decided to dedicate his time to protecting this new, alien dimension and dismantle the Major Arcana's organization before they begin their plans of omniversal supremecy
"I cannot allow you to continue with your evil plans, foul beast!"
--Pilgrim
"I cannot allow you to continue with your evil plans, foul beast!"
--Pilgrim
Teddie
Lowly grunt to the Fool and the Major Arcana. Cab "Teddie" Todo isn't the brightest bulb out there, working for low pay for an evil organization with money to burn and no standards in his department. He gets his name from the tattoo on his chest, one of a bear-cub playing soccer, something he obtained after losing a bet.
"Mah name is Teddie. I'm here to destwoy you all and claim this pwanet in the name of the Foowl."
--Teddie
SOLD
"Mah name is Teddie. I'm here to destwoy you all and claim this pwanet in the name of the Foowl."
--Teddie
SOLD
Basil Sage
Runner-up for the title of "Keymaster", Basil Sage was born from Italian immigrants and raised in France. Basil found his calling as an existential health trainer and part-time love guru, earning a modest living in the streets of Dijon. After a while, he began to experiment in his own sort of faith, exploring all of Europe and parts of Asia, and soon discovered an incredibly powerful source of divine energy through combining the traditions and philosophies of Thelema, Architectural Buddhism and a form of Druidism that has not existed yet. With this power, Basil Sage has become the father of a new form of Earthly witchcraft. Think "my soul is the gun, the grass and rivers are the bullets and the stars pull the trigger." Wielding his collection of healing crystals across his chest like a bullet belt, Basil Sage has become a prominent member of the magical community to the point where he received the attention of the Laos. Though he did not win the title of "Keymaster", Basil is not a loser at life. His temperament would not allow it.
"The Cradle of Worlds is in danger. You and I must find the cause and deliver the effect."
--Basil Sage
"The Cradle of Worlds is in danger. You and I must find the cause and deliver the effect."
--Basil Sage
Alpha Draconus
Head of the Constellation Draco, son of the cosmic serpent and the North Pole Star. Once a young and impetuous blue giant who wanted to see the universe, he took on the form of a shooting star and searched the universe for wonder and awe. Eventually, such a being became the character of many stories across countless cultures to many different worlds, sparking the attention of the Loas. They gave an offer for him to be their Keymaster, thinking that one who travels would be able to outrun any who pursued them. He did not win the job however, though he is still on speed-dial should they need him.
"Have at thee!" --Alpha Draconus |
Teal
Once a member of the Afognak Yupik Community, Teal was named for the crystal sparkling of the ocean on the day of her birth. Because of the sparkling magic of the ocean, Teal was selected to become the new avatar of Sedna and Biliku, the respective goddesses of the Ocean and Fire, with the seal of Asiaq, Goddess of Weather, wrapped across her body to maintain balance within. As the new Yupik Diviner, Teal now acts as the divine mediator of the world's forces of hot and cold.
"Does somebody smell burning?"
--Teal
SOLD
"Does somebody smell burning?"
--Teal
SOLD
Coffee
A worldly soul. Zachary Donald Ruth was once a normal, everyday citizen of a similar, yet different Steampunkish-incarnation of San Francesco before being kidnapped by a strange group of people who intended on using him as a test subject for their mad experiments. After a hero burst through the laboratory, freeing the captured citizens and destroying their work, Zacharay was left to his own devices in our own backwards world with no friends or family to turn to. When arrested and taken into police custody for vagrancy, he was sent to what they believed to be his only living relative. This was of course revealed to be this universe's incarnation of Zachary Ruth, who took him in, thinking he was a distant cousin. This Zachary Ruth now works with his other self at his bar "The BARBRA Group", having found peace and enjoying the more advanced (if not ultra-violent at times) nature of his new home. He now goes by the name "Coffee", after the incident where he had his first cup of coffee at BARBRA's. Apparently caffeine is an illegal drug where he's from.
"It isn't that I don't like temporal travelers. I just don't like talking to them is all. They're always 'motion and motionless' this and 'lives, live, will live' and so on. Makes grammar teachers getting out of bed in the morning seem out of the question with them. Or have a field day dissecting their phrasing. Its both at once with those guys."
--Coffee
"It isn't that I don't like temporal travelers. I just don't like talking to them is all. They're always 'motion and motionless' this and 'lives, live, will live' and so on. Makes grammar teachers getting out of bed in the morning seem out of the question with them. Or have a field day dissecting their phrasing. Its both at once with those guys."
--Coffee
Root Beer
Manager of "the BARBRA Group", Zachary Donna Ruth enjoys golfing, swing music, mystery novels and neo-noir cinema. He goes by the moniker of "Root Beer" after his friends gave him root beer and became hilariously drunk (and temporarily blind) off of it, having been convinced that it was an experimental boot-leg Moonshine cocktail.
"It took me three years to pay off this bar, and then Coffee shows up with a bunch of cops saying that he's my problem now. It isn't something Coffee does or anything - its nice to have a roommate and having someone to talk to - but it gets a tad expensive cleaning up after bright-blue mini-explosions or savage wendigos or whatever time-space hoo-hah that smells out tachyons he's apparently covered in."
--Root Beer
"It took me three years to pay off this bar, and then Coffee shows up with a bunch of cops saying that he's my problem now. It isn't something Coffee does or anything - its nice to have a roommate and having someone to talk to - but it gets a tad expensive cleaning up after bright-blue mini-explosions or savage wendigos or whatever time-space hoo-hah that smells out tachyons he's apparently covered in."
--Root Beer
Samhaina
Norn of the Calendar Hinterland and professional witch-for-hire. Samhaina has built a career off of the construction of spells and charms using the natural aura and environment of the Calendar Hinterlands, a sort of personification of the passage of time made into soil and sky. Samhaina herself has since built herself a home in the October Archipelago, becoming strong when in the passage October and its final day passes.
"Some call me an 'Aging Diva'. 'Aging Deva' more like. Think for yourselves. Don't be sheep." --Samhaina SOLD |
Boo
Boo is a Holiday Imp, a special breed of fairy native to the Calendar Hinterland, specifically one that dwells through October. Boo has held a long-standing career as "familiar", a lightning rod to conduct power from the temporal properties Calendar Hinterland to wizards and witches that want it. Hobbies include faustian mischief, space division and agony cuisine. It's hard to collect freshly-processed suffering for making one's own birthday cake when the closest Hell is over forty quantameters to the left, you know.
"Kupo!" --Boo |
Diesel
Diesenial Interware, better known as "Diesel", is a world-renowned black-market weapon's dealer and criminal tycoon. Named "Dieselpunk", his form of technology has since been reverse engineered by the white market and used by the British-American Oligarchy during the Second World War. Pardoned of his cartellian ways in his tech's net-worth, Diesel eventually became one of the modern world's most successful engineer and philanthropists.
"I regret nothing." --Diesel |
Martin
A crazy little shit. Martin was originally a part of the same thought experiment that created Surgery Stan, Martin was a down on his luck male prostitute that sold his body to science for advanced pay. Due to the experimental chemicals used on Surgery Stan reacting violently to the various drugs in his system, Martin came back to life, the torn half of his body from the truck accident growing back from the chemical's influence. Now imbued with the power of ultimate regeneration (as well as a dangerous amount of irreversible brain damage), Martin is now on the loose through the streets of Dadallas with intent to destroy everything he sees.
"Surprise motha'fucka!!!"
--Martin
"Surprise motha'fucka!!!"
--Martin
Couverture
One of The Government's top Assassins. Also known as "Agent Chocolate Rose", Couverture is a powerful mutant found by The Government after suffering from cruel and unusual experimentation at the hands of the Major Arcana. Now, after years of proper training, Couverture has since assassinated spies, terrorists and diplomats alike. He can fly like a stealth jet, blend in the dark and crawl across walls and surfaces, killing people with the points of his claws
"Name: ??? Alias: Couverture/Chocolate Rose Status: Class C-9 Assassin Medical Specs: Blood Type AB (possible bat-based DNA splice found in DNA), emits Tachyon-based radiation" --The Government's File on Couverture |
Rosso Corsa
Criminal mastermind and current Avatar of Colour RED. Raised by a Corsandia wizarding family, Rossa developed physical capabilities alien to common, everyday spellcasters, and was realized to be the latest vessel to RED, one of the six Colours that flow through the universe like lymph through a body. In his studies, Rossa learns that if all six Colours were to be reunited, they shall "learn creation by its painter". Filled with ambition, Rossa rose to infamy as a threat to the mortal and magical communities, ever vigilant to find the other five Colours and change the world in his image.
As an Avatar of Colour RED, Rossa Corsa possesses physical speed and strength above average when in the presence of the color red. Rossa possesses the special power "Dying", allowing him to temporarily dye the environment around him in any color he wishes, allowing him to move faster than the eye can follow and hit like an unstoppable force. "Stories are a mad science experiment, and death is the scientist. But all else is a painting: who is the mad artist?" --Rossa Corsa |
Amber
Not much can be said about Amber. She was once a normal person unaffiliated with magic and the Colour, until one day fate intervened and she became the Avatar of Colour ORANGE. She was approached by Rosso Corsa, who would teach her the origins of her strange new powers in exchange for her loyalties. Under his employment, Amber works with Maize as one of Rosso's primary means of defense and capturing, being able to use their combined abilities to apprehend any who can lead them to their Colour kin.
As an Avatar of Colour ORANGE, Amber grows stronger and faster the more orange there is around her. Amber possesses the special power "Unmatter", allowing her to fire a steady-stream or compressed bursts of a spark-like orange magic as an offense, the magic designed to manipulate or corrode matter. "I felt confused and afraid. I couldn't look my sister in the eye when my body went through this sudden change, but God gave me the sign that I needed. He brought Rossa to me." --Amber |
Maize
Constantly bullied and harassed for her height and weight, Maize was the most picked-on girl in school. One day she was cornered, boxed in the girl's locker room as the prep-school girls stripped her and mocked her for her flawed physique. She felt something snap within her before she felt the raw power of Colour YELLOW invade her body and soul. Imbued with the power of "Halt", she took revenge and trapped the bullies in an invisible container where they were found dead within the hour, have suffocated in the very force-fields that imprisoned them. Having heard about the incident, Rossa Corsa found Maize and gave her the choice to join him in his crusade to blight the evils of the world through order and control.
As an Avatar of Colour YELLOW, Maize grows stronger and faster the more yellow there is around her (an especially potent ability, being a member of the primary colours). Maize possesses the special power "Halt", projecting walls and barriers out of reflections of light at a fixed point. This can be used for a number of means, either creating barriers to be used as cover or as a means of ensnaring victims. "They thought they could box me into a corner, so I boxed them in too." --Maize |
Lime
Rosso Corsa's right hand man in his mission. A man of few words, Lime acted as a mercenary since his late teens, using his powers as Avatar of Colour GREEN for most of his career. A natural pragmatist, Lime took little effort in investigating the origin of his amazing powers and decided to not waste time in looking. When Rosso Corsa came to him with a proposition, Lime took the job under payment, learning the origins of his powers and the situation from listening to those around him.
As an Avatar of Colour GREEN, Lime grows stronger and faster the more green there is around him. Lime possesses the special power "Ectoplasm", a diverse abilities that allows Lime to take on a spectral form, allowing him to fly, turn intangible and possess others not unlike that of a ghost or poltergeist for a limited period of time. "Infiltrate. Inspect. Exterminate." --Lime |
Navy
Once a teacher in neuroscience at Dadallas Tech, Navy was gravely injured in an automobile accident, leaving his body broken and bed ridden for years with no signs of recovery. One day, his destiny intervened, his body becoming the newest vessel for Colour BLUE. The primordial magics involved repairing his broken body as good as new. His new status as Colour Avatar made him the target of many unsavory forces, including Rosso Corsa and his mission, forcing him to abandon his old life just as soon as he regained it.
As an Avatar of Colour BLUE, Navy grows stronger and faster the more blue there is around him. Navy possesses the special power "Blue Brain", allowing him to alter the mental faculties of those around him, allowing him to erase memories, confuse perception and psychically influence the logic and ethical faculties of those around him. While Rosso is able to counter this with basic home-brewed spells, Navy's power has allowed him to evade detection and escape Rosso for as long as he has. "This is not the man you are looking for. You will let him go and forget all about him." --Navy |
Indigo
Due to the VIOLET avatar's resistance to join him, Rosso came up with the idea of cheating the system and replicating Colour VIOLET artificially. In came a young upstart wizard who came to Rosso, hearing about his family's accomplishments in the magical world, hoping to be taken under his tutelage as his apprentice. Seeing no real use to him, Rosso used the poor kid as a test subject. Rosso Corsa uses a sample of his own power RED and a stolen sample of BLUE from Navy in hopes that the combined powers would replicate VIOLET. What instead happened turned Indigo into a hollow shell of his former self, his mind destroyed without a true will of his own from the unhinged, primal nature of Colour. Because he is a vessel of RED and BLUE however, Rosso is able to control the former wizard like a puppet, using his new, strange magic for his own ends.
Indigo possesses the unique power "Frenzy", a hybrid power of Rosso's "Dying" and Navy's "Blue Brain" abilities that works like an infection, tinting all that he touches red and blue. Objects decay and contort, plants die or become hostile, electronics malfunction and fail, turning people into mindless, slobbering rabids under the beckoned call of Rossa and his mission. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAH! GrrRrhugh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" --Indigo |
Sepia
Rosso Corsa's leading planner and confidant, as well as his maternal grandfather. An accomplished sorcerer, Sepia created a name for himself all across the magical community in this world and beyond. Facts ranging from his success in recreating the philosopher's stone, surviving confrontation with Lavender in a very public duel and devising tasty cake recipes that bestow virility, to speculations of his associations to various Left-handed cults and other underhanded dealing in the shadows.
Sepia spent many years as a sorcerer's apprentice researching the aimless nature of the Collective Unconscious, and was able to finds ways to harness the seven Colours into a new breed of chaos magic for him to use. Having kept himself alive with this strange and alien magic, Sepia now dedicates himself to his grandson's cause, and is even been speculated to have placed the idea in Rosso's head in the first place. "My grandson has the right idea, but he is too distracted by his own lust for power. I, however, have something better in store for all of them..." --Sepia |
Banana Man
Brazilian environmental activist José Olivearo ventured and found the fabled witch in violet. Seeing the disparity his country was suffering from, José pleaded with the witch to give him the power to have nature fight against his country's oppressors. While tying to ignore him at first, Olivearo's insistent whining and badgering forced her to force him to leave. Cursing him into the form of a walking, talking banana, José, now known as "Banana Man", returns to his country, believing that she granted his witch.
"Você vai enfrentar a ira do Brasil e seu povo!" -- Banana Man |